The Date
by doggettandscully
Summary: Doggett and Willmore go on a double date.........


DOGGETT'S HOUSE  
1:25PM  
  
Doggett placed his bycicle in its ususl position in the large kitchen cupboard. He was  
still dressed in his blue Puma lycra cycling clothes, complete with shinpads.  
He spotted the washing up he had left in the sink vefore his adventure to the shops and sighed  
at the vulgarity of the plates, they were caked in old food.  
"Oh" He sighed as he walked over to the sink, but then glanced at his watch to see that the  
time was almost 1:30pm and his mother was due to ring any moment, he loved his mother's  
phone calls.  
Doggett smiled excitedly as he jumped over to the sofa and took a seat next to the telephone,  
he found it strange how she hadn't rung yet. He had wanted to tell her about his recent trip  
to the cinema where he experienced the viewing of The Mexican with his favourite actress,  
Julia Roberts.  
Suddenly the a knock at the door broke his thoughts, he sighed before dragging himself over to  
speak to the unknown visitor.  
"Hi there" Willmore smiled as Doggett pulled the door open  
"Oh hi" Doggett replied wishing his presence would dissapear from the doorstep  
"I just wanted to ask you a small favour...did I catch you at a bad time?" He asked when he  
spotted Doggett's cycling outfit.  
"What?" He asked in confusion, he looked down at his clothes and realised he had forgot to  
change, "Oh I juat went to the shops, what do you want?" He asked rudely.  
"Well, can I come in?"  
"Yeah I suppose so" Doggett said with a sigh.  
Willmore pushed passed Doggett and let himself into the livingroom, he looked around at the mess,  
clothes, CD's, magazines all over the place in a heap.  
"Oh er just a bit of spring cleaning" Doggett lied when he remembered the mess, he had been too  
lazy to do it in the morning.  
"Oh right just sorting through a few things?"  
"Yeah, could you tell me what you want? I'm expecting a phonecall"  
"Oh right, well I was just wondering how you would feel about a date?" Willmore asked.  
Doggett suddenly felt ill, a date? With Willmore? How could he never have guessed Willmore   
buttered his toast on the other side?  
"Oh...er..." He didn't quite know what to say to the ludicrous question placed upon him  
"Well? What do you say?"  
"Well...er...I don't wish to date other men...I'm not...how do I say? Er bent" Doggett felt  
akward at replying to the man who now wished to come out of the closet and acompany him on a   
date.  
"What?" Willmore asked with confusion, "I meant a double date with some chicks"  
"oh...er...sorry"  
"You thought I meant you?" Willmore looked offended  
"Er no it was a joke"  
"A joke? Oh right, very funny" Willmore laughed, "So what do you say?"  
"I don't know I..."  
"Lucinda won't go unless her cousin Regina goes, I have to set up a blind date"  
"With someone called Regina? I don't think so" Doggett said  
"Oh please, Doggett Lucinda won't go otherwise"  
"Why don't you ask Chow?" Doggett questioned, he knew that the answer would be that women would  
find Chow undesirable but asked anyway.  
"Oh he already has a girlfriend" Willmore replied  
Doggett couldn't quite believe that Chow actually had a girlfriend,  
"Really? Wow"  
"So what do you say? Just one small date at the local wine bar?"  
"Oh okay" Doggett agreed when he remembered the wonderful meals they sold at Dippy's Wine Bar.  
"Great!" Willmore smiled, "I'll meet you there...eight?"  
"Tonight?" Doggett asked with shock  
"Yep"  
"Oh okay then"  
"Great, see ya then" Willmore said as he headed for the door.  
Doggett rushed over to let him out, he pulled the door open but in doing so suddenly felt  
something hit his face in a strange clenched-fisted way. He fell to the floor  
"Ouch" He exclaimed not quite able to accept what had just happened  
"Doggett?" Scully's voice said as the little red head peered over his face.  
"Scully?" He asked in confusion  
"I'm sorry I was just about to knock" She said.  
It suddenly occured to Doggett that Scully had been attempting to knock on the door but he had  
pulled the door open causing her to accidently knock on his face.  
"Hey are you okay?" Willmore asked as he reached out to help him to his feet  
"Yeah, I think so" He replied as he got to his feet  
"Well gotta go" Willmore smiled, "See you agents"  
"Oh bye Willmore" Scully smiled, excited that she had actually seen him today, "See you in work  
tomorrow"  
"I hate Sunday's" Doggett moaned as he closed the door behind Willmore.  
"So what did Willmore want?"  
"Oh just asked me to take some chick out on a date"  
"What?" Scully asked  
"Oh never mind, tea?"  
"Yeah sure" She smiled, she looked toward the window and watched her Willmore dissapear up the  
road in his car.  
Suddenly the phone rang causing Doggett to sprint over to the phone and yank it up,  
"Hello?" He said joyously, he looked to Scully and motioned for her to leave the room, "Oh hi  
mum" He said happily.  
Scully sighed and wondered over to the staircase, she sat on the bottom step where she could  
still hear the phonecall.  
"Yeah, I saw that one the other night" Doggett was saying, she guessed he was talking about  
films as usual to his mother.  
"I also saw Ghost, that movie is so sad" He said as his voice became croaky, like he was about  
to cry, "I cried my eyes out" He said as he looked to see if Scully was listening. He saw her  
sitting on the stairs and motioned her to go up.  
She sighed and did as he wished, she wondered up the stairs and had a nose around the rooms  
where she came across a telephone. She rushed over and picked it up, careful not to make a   
sound on the line.  
"...Yes dear and if you do get constipation again, I suggest you see Dr. Conzell" His mother  
said, causing Scully to giggle silently.  
"Yeah mum, I think I will, I Had it last week for a couple of days but it went because I ate  
some prunes and tomatoes and stuff"  
"Yes well me and your father have always told you to eat healthily and you won't have poopy  
problems"  
Suddenly Scully burst into a fit of laughter down the phone, she couldn't conceal her need to  
laugh anymore.  
"Son?" His mother asked in confusion  
"Scully!" Doggett shouted, "Are you listening to my phonecall?"  
Scully quickly placed the reciever down on the phone, she then heard the sounds of Doggett's  
little feet rushing up the stairs. She heard him stumble and fall before quickly getting back  
to his feet and proceding with his journey.  
Scully quickly rushed across the hall and locked herself in the bathroom  
"Scully?" Doggett called as he rushed to the phone in his bedroom.  
"yes?" She called from the bathroom, trying to sound normal  
"Where are you?"  
"In the bathroom"  
"Why were you listening to my phonecall? How dare you!" He shouted as he rushed to the bathroom  
door.  
"What?"She asked trying to sound confused, "What do you mean?"  
"Don't play dumb I..."  
"I wasn't listening to your phonecall, I've been in here all the time" She said as she tried to  
hold in a huge laugh.  
"Well what was that noise?"  
"What noise?"  
"Never mind" Doggett said as he rushed down the stairs to greet his mother on the other end of  
the line.  
  
8:30PM  
  
Scully helped as Doggett prepaired for his date with Regina. She had been at his house  
all day and he wondered why she was there, didn't she have anything else to do?  
"There" She said as she straightened his tie, Doggett looked at his reflection in the large  
mirror by the front door.  
"I'm not too sure about this tie Scully" He said refering to the lime coloured suit accessory  
"Oh it looks nice" She said as she dusted his suit  
"Does my hair look okay?"  
"Yes, now what did you say her name was again?"   
"Regina" Doggett replied, "What should I say to her? It's been a while since I went out on a  
date"  
Scully thought for a moment,  
"Hmmm, well say something romantic but don't look too desperate. Halfway through the night, just  
pay her a compliment" She advised  
"A compliment? Like what?"  
"Er, say something like, 'wow Regina you have such beautiful eyes, I love the way your hair  
makes them twinkle in the light of the room'" Scully said as she began to think of Willmore.  
She wished he would say something like that to her, her precious Willmore  
"Right, and I won't look dumb?"  
"Nope"  
"Okay, I wonder what Lucinda'a like" Doggett said as he thought back to what Willmore had said  
about his date.  
"Who's Lucinda?" Scully asked with confusion  
"I told you, she's Willmore's date"  
"What?" Scully suddenly felt angry and upset, "Willmore has a date?" She asked with deep upset.  
"Yeah, I told you that didn't I? It's a double date" He smiled  
"A double date?"  
"Yeah, well see ya...shall I drop you home fir..."  
Suddenly Doggett felt his body yanked away from the front door which he had attempted to walk  
out of. He turned to see Scully looking cacky and worried,  
"No wait" She said, "Lets get a bug from Frohicke, we can put it in your suit so I can..."  
"What?" Doggett asked in total confusion to his partner's suggestion, "why?"  
Scully thought hard for an excuse, she couldn't tell him it was so she could monitor Willmore's  
date.  
"Er well you never know...this Regina could be some kind of axe murderer"  
Doggett looked at Scully as if she was a complete nutcase. What was she talking about?, he  
guessed it was another one of her side-effects from Mulder's dissapearance.  
"Hey its nice to know you care but don't worry, I'm not going to just vanish from the face of  
the earth like Mulder" He said feeling happy that his partner took an interest in his welfare  
and well being.  
He was suddenly intruded with a hefty smack,  
"Don't talk about Mulder that way!" She said, "He didn't vanish, we'll find him one day!"  
"okay, okay" Doggett said as he put his hands up in defence to his mad partner.  
"I just want to check that everything is okay with this Regina, plus I can help you with your  
speech" She said trying to entice him to use a bug.  
"Well I could use a few pointers" He said much to Scully's delight, "But I have to be there  
soon, we don't have time to go and see the lone gunmen"  
"No need, I can get them here in an instant" She said with joy as she rushed over to the   
telephone. She picked it up and quickly dialled a number. The room fell silent for a few seconds,  
"Oh hello? Is that you Frohicke?" She said, "I need your help, come to agent Doggett's house  
and bring one of those bugs" She said as she placed the reciever down.  
"How do they know where my house is?"  
"I gave them the address, they have it in an address book" She replied  
How rude, Doggett thought, how dare she go around giving out his address to people?  
About twenty minutes had passed before there was a knock at the door, Scully jumped up  
to open it and three trampy looking men strolled in,  
"Hey there agent Scully" Frohike said as he entered into Doggett's home, "Oh hi there agent   
Doggett"  
"Hi there agents" Langly said as he wondered in, his hippy hair moved around in a knotty motion  
as he wondered over to the settee and took a seat.  
"So whats all this about?" Byers asked as he joined Langly on the sofa.  
"Scully wants me to take that bug with me on a date" Doggett said, "Can we just hurry up? I'm  
late as it is"  
"Oh right. any particular reason for this?"  
"Yes I believe his date to be...suspicous" Scully lied not wanting them to know she really  
wanted to listen in on Willmore's date.  
"Oh right and why is this?"  
"Look and you just fix it to me? I'm late as it is" Doggett said as he looked at his watch  
"Okay agent Doggett, Frohike get the bug" Byers demanded.  
Frphike produced a small black box, about the size of a matchbox with a small earpiece.  
Byers took the box and produced a roll of cellotape, he tore some off,  
"Lift your shirt agent Doggett" he ordered, Doggett sighed and he pulled his shirt up. Byers  
fixated the box to his chest and placed the earpiece inside his ear.  
"There" He said as he stood back to see if the earpiece was visible. Doggett tucked his shirt  
back into his trousers,  
"Can you hear me agent Doggett?" A loud voice erupted in his ear, he looked to see Langly  
holding a small radio.  
"Yes, yes I can hear you, I'm going" He said angrily as he stormed over to the door,  
"Wait agent Doggett, the visual" Byers said as he pulled him back.  
"Visual?" He questioned  
"Yeah, say hello to Doggett cam" he joke as he produced a small black shape around the size  
of a button.  
"A camera?"  
"Great!" Scully squealed, "Now I can see Will, er I mean Regina too"  
"Let me just attach it to you shirt button" Byers said as he stuck the small camera onto  
Doggett's shirt.  
"I can't go out with one black button on my shirt!"  
"Hey it doesn't even notice" Scully smiled, "It doesn't show"  
Langly switched on a small TV set they had brought with them and entered in a code. A vision  
of Byers emerged onto the screen  
"Perfect" Frohike Said as he looked at the screen, "Go on agent Doggett, be fashionably late"  
  
DIPPY'S WINE BAR  
  
Doggett strolled into the wine bar and glanced around for any signs of Willmore and the  
two dates. He spotted Willmore over in the far corner talking to a pretty blonde woman,  
"Go on go over" Scully's voice came through Doggett's earpiece,  
"I am" He said as he wondered over.  
"Oh Doggett, hi this is Lucinda White" Willmore smiled as he introduced him to the blonde woman  
"Oh hi Lucinda"  
"Doggett? Thats a funny name" She laughed  
"Yeah its my last name, agent John Doggett" He said  
"And this is Regina Bigass"  
Doggett couldn't help but silently laugh at the woman's last name, he looked to see a tall,   
black-haired woman standing at the side of the table. He liked her instantly  
"Oh hi there Regina"  
"Hi, you must be my date" She said as she flashed him a smile  
"Yeah, Dohn Joggett...er I mean Dohn Doggett...er John Doggett" He said in a moment of extreme  
nervousness. Regina giggled at Doggett's mistake  
"offer her a drink" Scully's voice emerged over the earpiece  
"er Regina, would you like a dwink...er I mean drink?" He asked feeling foolish at his speech.  
"Yes, white wine" She said as she flashed him another smile  
"Lucinda?" Willmore questioned  
"Same" She said with a smile.  
Doggett and Willmore walked over to the bar,  
"So do you like Regina?" Willmore asked  
"Yeah, she's okay I guess"  
"Ask him if he likes Lucinda" Scully said through the earpiece. Doggett wondered why she wanted  
to know wether he liked Lucinda or not but asked anyway,  
"So what about Lucinda?"  
"Yeah she's great" He said with a big smile.  
  
Scully saw Willmore's big happy smile through the TV screen and her heart sank, he actually  
liked his date. She would just have to find a way to use Doggett to sabotage the date.  
  
"Here you go" Doggett said as he handed Regina her glass of white wine  
"Thanks" She smiled as Doggett took a seat, "So your an FBI agent like Craig?"  
"Yeah" Doggett smiled,   
"Wow it must be great, chasing around after criminals all day"  
"Yeah, it's okay I guess apart from the odd death" He said in an attempt to impress Regina.  
"Deaths?"  
"Yeah, people getting shot all the time, you know how it is" He said in exageration.  
  
LATER  
  
Doggett had already started drinking scotch and was getting quite drunk. He gave Regina  
a smile  
"I love the way your hair is alight and your eyes are in the room" He said in an attempt to  
copy the sentence scully had advised him to say.  
"What?" Regina asked in a state of shock  
"Tell her she looks lovely in her dress" Scully said over the earpiece  
"Oh I mean, you look lovely in your dress" He said with a drunken smile  
"Oh thankyou" Regina smiled shyly.  
"Tell her you wish you could take her out again sometime" Scully said  
"I wish I could take you out again sometime"  
"Well maybe if you compliment me again you can" Regina laughed.  
"Say you love the sparkle in her eyes amd the glint in her smile, say you love the way the light  
bounces off her hair" Scully intruded.  
"Er...I love the way your hair sparks and your eyes bounce when the light glints on your  
smile" He said with a smile as he gulped down the remains of his scotch.  
"What?" Regina asked in shock, "What does that mean? Are you saying I'm ugly?"  
"er...er..."  
"You're hopeless Doggett!" Scully shouted causing his ear to ache  
"Oh no, I meant I think you're beautiful" He quickly said  
"oh...thanks"  
"Go and sit near Willmore" Scully demanded  
"No I'm not dating Willmore, I'm dating Regina" He suddenly said as he forgot he was talking  
through an invisble earpiece.  
Regina looked at Doggett like he was some kind of headcase  
"Er excuse me" She said as she stood from her seat, Doggett watched her dissapear into the  
ladies toilets. Lucinda removed her presence from beside Willmore to join Regina in the toilets.  
"I can't believe you sometimes" Scully said, "You're drunk aren't you?"  
"no" Doggett whispered  
"Go outside so I can speak to you properly"  
Doggett obliged with Scully's request and stood from his chair. In doing so he accidently got  
his little foot caught on the table leg and he found himself flying through the air before  
landing by the bar.  
Scully wondered what had just happened, she had seen a vision of a large room with  
people dancing and talking, then she suddenly saw the ground come toward the camera before  
total darkness.  
"What happened?" She asked the lone gunmen in a state of panic, she hit the small TV in an  
attempt to fix it.  
"It would seem agent Doggett just fell over" Byers said   
"Doggett?" Scully called through the hand held radio, "doggett?"  
"Yeah" He replied as he heard the sounds of Scully's voice in his ear,  
"Get up!"  
He quickly got to his feet where he was greeted with Willmore's presence.  
"Are you okay?" He asked  
"Er...yeah"  
"What happened?"  
"I just tripped...I'm gonna get some fresh air" Doggett said as a feeling of immense   
embarrassment came over him.  
"Oh right" Willmore said as he watched the drunken agent dissapear out the back door.  
Doggett stepped out in the night air, it hit him with force causing him to slightly  
become sober.  
"You are an embarrassment to yourself!" Scully shouted in his ear, "How could you do that?"  
"What?" He asked in confusion  
"Oh I guess thats normal life for you?"  
"Yeah isn't going out on a date normal life to everyone?"  
Suddenly Doggett heard the sounds of women's voices chatting and giggling. He realised he was  
standing under the window of the ladies toilets. Where those voices Regina and Lucinda?  
"Yes but I mean the embarrassment you caused yourself"  
"sssssh!" He demanded so he could hear what the voices were saying.  
"...yeah I think John is such a freak" Regina's voice exclaimed, "I think Craig is so wonderful,  
I wish I was dating him"  
Doggett felt like he had been hit with a hammer, the bad news was so terrible, him a freak?  
"Well your welcome to Craig he's the geek" Lucinda's voice laughed.  
"Really? Can I aske Craig for a date?" Regina questioned  
"Sure"  
Doggett felt as though he had been betrayed. He didn't even bother to think about his actions,  
instead he fled off into the night, switching the camera and earpiece off in the process.  
  
"Doggett?" Scully called when the vision on the TV suddenly vanished, "What happened?"  
She began to have a major cack. How could she sabotage the date now?  
"Agent Doggett switched off the equipment" Langly concluded  
"What?" Scully asked in a state of shock, "Why?"  
"I don't know, he must of heard something, maybe thats why he told you to 'sssh'" Byers guessed.  
"We have to find out where he is...we have to ruin Willmore's date!" She suddenly shouted, she  
realised she had let slip her devotion to the agent.  
"Pardon agent Scully?" Byers asked  
"Oh...er...I mean, we have to contact Willmore to find Doggett...but it will ruin his date" She  
said as she skillfully kept her reputation in tact.  
"Hmmm, maybe he will come home" Frohike suggested, "Maybe thats why he switched off the earpiece"  
"Yeah, I think we should wait a while before we start to worry about agent Doggett" Langly   
agreed.  
  
3:23 AM  
  
Doggett wondered up his driveway in a drunken state. He had been to several bars to drown  
his sorrows after he had overheard Regina's comments about Willmore. How could she prefer  
Willmore to him? How could his so-called friend betray him in that way?  
Doggett attempted to unlock the front door with his key but due to his alcohol-induced body, he  
had difficulty in getting it in the keyhole. When he finally did, he pushed the door open to   
enter his home but forgot he had been using the door as an aid in keeping him upright, he  
fell in with the door and landed on the floor, bashing his head on the table in the process.  
Scully heard a loud sound from downstairs and guessed Doggett had returned home. She got up  
from her sleeping position on Doggett's bed and made her way down the stairs.  
"Doggett?" She questioned when she spotted the agent lying on the floor face down, with the  
front door wide open.  
"Doggett?" She said again as she rushed to help him up, as she bent down, she realised he was  
actually asleep, "Doggett!" She called as she shook him violently.  
"Hmmm..." Doggett awoke to the the sounds of Scully's piercing hollar, "Scully?" He wondered what  
had happened before remembering his accident with the door.  
"Your drunk!"  
"Oh hey there Scully..." He said as he slowly, unsteadily climbed to his feet, "How did you  
get in?" He asked unable to remember how the little agent came to be in his place of leisure.  
"I've been here all day, remember!" She said in an angered state, "I've been worried sick!"  
"Why? I had a good time, I went to..."  
"I don't care where you went! Get to bed so you can sleep off this drunken manner" She demanded,  
"You have work tomorrow incase that small fact seems to have escaped your attention!"  
"Hey calm down, lets have a nice drink, I have some christmas brandy in the cupboard"  
"What? How could you possibly suggest drinking more?" She asked, "I think you should sleep this  
off now"  
Doggett wondered why she was so angry with him. Whats it to her what he does in his own time?  
"Actually you can sleep on the sofa, I'll have your bed"  
How dare she dictate where he should sleep in his own home.  
"I'll get you some sleeping clothes, have a large glass of water...then your hangover won't be  
as bad" She said as she rushed off up the stairs.  
Doggett sighed, if only she hadn't turned up at his home, he would be able to do as he pleased,  
he decided he would sneekily have some of his christmas brandy.  
Doggett rushed to the kitchen and pulled open the cupboard, he sifted through before coming  
to the dusty bottle he had been saving for the passed three years for one christmas. He opened  
the bottle and gulped down the smooth, biting taste of the spirit,  
"mmmm" He mumbled as the drink trickled down his throat as he gulped it down.  
He suddenly heard a loud noise upstairs and guessed Scully was coming back down, he put the lid  
on the bottle and threw it back in the cupboard before drunkenly leaping back into the dark  
livingroom. He found his way through the darkness over to the couch and fell onto it only to find  
it was lumpy and funnily shaped.  
"huh?" He uttered in total confusion to the shapeness of the sofa, he moved around to get more  
comfortable, was it him or was the sofa moving? Maybe he was drunk or slightly insane, he  
looked to see a fragment of what looked like hair on the cusion  
"aaah!" He yelled only for an ugly face to appear next to the cusion  
"Agent Doggett?" It said and Doggett recognised the face to be Langly  
"What...whats going on?" He questioned as he quickly got up from the sofa but suddenly found  
his legs tumbling over a strange shape on the ground,  
"aah!" He called as he fell to the floor with force.  
"Agent Doggett?" A bespectacled face emerged beside him on the floor  
"aaah! Whats going on?"  
Suddenly the light came on in the room and Doggett glanced around from his position on the floor  
to see the three lone gunmen scattered around the floor and on the sofa with blankets.  
"Doggett?" Scully questioned as she stood beside the lightswitch with a blanket, pillow and  
pyjamas containing small pictures of the creatures from, A Bugs Life.  
"I...I..."  
"Whats all the shouting?" She asked  
"I didn't know what was happening" He said, "What are these men doing in my house?"  
"Waiting up for you, like I was"  
"Agent Doggett are you okay?" Byers asked from over the other side of the room, he was lying by  
the TV stand.  
"Yeah you took quite a tumble" Frohike commented, Doggett looked at the man beside him and  
realised he had been the scary asailant in his moment of terror.  
"I would be okay if I didn't come home to find a gathering of strangers sleeping in my living  
room" Doggett bitched as he attempted to get to his feet but tumbled over due to his drunken  
state of mind.  
"Geez agent Doggett, have you been drinking?" Langly asked  
"Look, just remove yourself from my sofa, you can have the floor" He demanded as Scully handed   
him his sleeping requirements.  
  
NEXT MORNING  
FBI HEADQUATERS  
  
Doggett wondered into the office and placed his favourite pink iced doughnuts on his  
desk alsong with his coffee and two sandwiches.  
"Wasn't expecting you to come in today" Scully said with sarcasm, "Thought you'd call in sick"  
"Why? I feel as right as rain" Doggett said as he took a seat on his chair.  
Scully wondered why he didn't have an almighty hangover after his drunken excursion the night  
before. How could a human be as drunk as a fool one moment and be as right as rain after a couple  
of hours sleep?  
"Oh and if Willmore decides to make a visit to our office today, tell him I don't require his  
company"  
"Why?" Scully asked desperate for the news of the date and what had caused Doggett to switch  
off his camera and earpiece before vanishing for half of the night.  
"He stole my date" He replied with hatred  
"What?" Scully asked unable to accept Doggett's claim about Willmore's actions  
"I overheard Regina telling Lucinda that she liked Willmore instead of me"  
"Did Lucinda say anything about Willmore?" Scully asked nosily.  
"Yeah, she said she didn't like him"  
Thank god, Scully thought with a sigh of relief. But then she remembered that Regina had said  
that she liked Willmore, would he now date her instead?  
"Does Willmore know?"  
"I don't know if Willmore knows and quite frankly I don't care...I hate him after what he has  
done"  
"Why? He didn't do anything...it's not his fault Regina likes him instead of you" Scully said in  
defence to her favourite agent.  
"He must have done something, why else would anyone prefer him to me?"  
"Well you have a high opinion of yourself" Scully commented.  
At that moment the door opened to reveal agent Willmore,  
"Don't remember hearing a knock" Doggett bitched  
"Hey Doggett, what happened last night?" He asked with interest.  
"Scully did you hear something? There must be a mouse in here or something"  
"Oh Doggett don't be so childish!" Scully said as she raised her little body from her chair and  
menouvered it over to Willmore.  
"He overheard Regina telling Lucinda that she liked you and not him" She said as she stood beside  
Willmore.  
"Big mouth" Doggett said with childishness  
"Oh so you know?"  
"What?" Scully asked, did Regina tell him? Was he dating her?  
"Regina wondered where you went and Lucinda vanished too" Willmore said  
"So? I don't want to hear about your night with MY date" Doggett bitched, "Could you please   
remove your presence from my office?"  
"What? I didn't date Regina, she told me that she liked me but I told her to take a hike"  
"What?" Doggett asked with joy, "You didn't date her?"  
"No, I wouldn't do that to a friend"  
"So your not dating anyone?" Scully intruded.  
"No, I went home"  
"Doggett, don't you have something to say to Willmore?" Scully asked with joy at the news of  
Willmore's singleness.  
"Oh er...sorry" He said feeling incredibly dumb  
"Thats okay, I've gotta go" Willmore replied with a smile, "Catch you guys later" He said as  
he removed his presence from the office.  
"See, thats what happens when you jump to conclusions" Scully smiled as she aproached her desk  
"Yeah I suppose you're right"  
Scully attempted to bend over to retrieve her handbag from its position from beside her desk  
but in doing so she accidently caused a small trump to escape from her arse. Suddenly she felt  
so embarrassed, how could she possibly fart in the company of someone? How could she stand and  
face Doggett?  
"Scully, did you just fart?" Doggett asked in complete surprise. He had never, ever heard her  
fart before and he laughed at the pert little sound, like the sound of someone clapping their  
hands.  
Scully stayed in her bending position unable to stand and face her partner,  
"Aren't you going to stand up?" Doggett asked through laughter  
"Er I didn't...trump" She lied, "Er...it was something from outside"  
Doggett laughed st her feeble excuse, he watched as she stood with her back to him in a crouching  
position,  
"Yes you did! That was definately a fart!" He laughed ferociousely.  
"Er...I have to go" She said as she stood still unable to face him, she kept her head low as  
she headed for the door.  
"Hey where you going?" Doggett questioned,  
"Therapy!" She replied with deep embarrassment to her little accident.  
Doggett watched as the little FBI agent dissapeared through the door and burst into a fit of  
laughter. He still couldn't believe she farted! He rolled around in his chair with laighter  
before the idea of being alone in the office hit him. His favourite part of the day was when  
Scully left him alone in the office, he reached out to his trusty radio and placed his tape,  
'Teenage Dirtbag' By wheatus into it and the song roared from the speakers as Doggett jumped into  
the middle of the room where he began to dance around to the rocking song.   
He grabbed a pencil from Scully's desk and used it as a microphone in his act,  
"Cause I'm just her teenage dirtbag baby..." He sang joyously but soon stopped and stood  
stock still when he spotted the bald assistant director known as Skinner standing before him.  
  
THE END 


End file.
